this one is the black sheep of the bunch so far. i mean, it's not like i wanted it to be, but.. it certainly gives it a bit more character comparatively. and who knows? maybe this ends up being closer to the effort format i like better, closer to an abstracted series on what i've seen this past month here, instead of breaking everything up, linking so much, etc. etc.
the reason why is uni, obviously- or, to me at least. so while it certainly hasn't been very active here, i at least i made my home page look real nice. & no hints, but i'll need to change the link to here soon. might need an extra semester though, so.. possibly more delays unfortunately.
anyways, that's really all i had not related to what i saw this past month—but i think i should mention books, tv & podcasts (woah, we're back for some reason ??) here instead of with sections. mainly because i only read ch4-5 of middlemarch (again, uni), and—while it's definitely significant that i'm trying to listen to podcasts again—i only so far have listened to the first episode of ologies with alie ward. so i'll spare any thoughts for now. also, while i started jojo's bizarre adventure and continued adventure time s6 again, it's only been a couple episodes each; breezy is an incredible episode of the latter.
just wanted to highlight those :) at least before:
games
i mean, i probably could've separated this out too, but i've already started typing; i likely played the last of balatro that i'll consistently enjoy since i don't have any more motivation to, and i got back into actually trying to play enter the gungeon properly.. then it's just been minecraft, a game of train on cs2 (which made me remember why train is such a good map), and a little pokémon platinum. but i feel stuck with the last specifically; idk if resetting is the option, or if i'm just not built for games at the point of my life.
movies
link to my letterboxd
the only movies that i know i won't really have much to say on from april were star wars: the force awakens, pusher, 42, 1408 (which i technically rewatched from high school times), and fury; i'm sure i have enough in me to complain about them all in different ways, the first and third with the most amount of grace though. i rewatched both princess mononoke and 12 angry men too and remember why both of them are so gorgeous and rewarding.. but the real 'highlights' were a minecraft movie and the zone of interest. for surprisingly similar reasons. i will elaborate eventually.
& i feel like i should i skip over concrete thoughts for 12 years a slave; not because it isn't worth talking about, but because everything it conjures is so important that i know i don't have all the knowledge to say; i can't tell to what degree(s) it is important as representing that specific era, or to what degree it is black pain for white tourists. i don't know, and i don't want to presume without fully realizing, with only one viewing. but it will likely be only one viewing for a long time.
music
link to my aoty list of everything
this past month was far and away so far the best month of music i've lived through in real time, knowing what was going on. i'm so glad i was here for some of the most important music i've ever experienced.
- product – sophie
- don't know how i could've been so wrong on my prior last full listen of this to think that it was only a high 3 / 5 ... reprehensible opinion. i have improved.
- f*ck u skrillex you think ur andy warhol but ur not!! <3 – skrillex
- i came back to a bit from quest for fire, and his early stuff with bangarang and scary monsters..., and i still can't completely conceptualize why this is so much better than those to me (though only moderately better than quest), especially when it reinterpolates so much of the style of that brostep atmosphere. maybe it's the personality. maybe it's just smokey.
- i didn't mean to haunt you – quadeca
- this requires a closer eye; i only had my jaw drop to house settling with danny brown—and maybe i need to be more (or less?) happy to let it feel like it's unraveling something.. for now it's simply some well-produced indietronica.
- revengeseekerz – jane remover
- hold me 'cause I feel my head splitting
- tonight – pinkpantheress
- was rly nice hearing dazegxd play this in columbus; it's such an infectious, further reinvention for her, constantly doing mini shifts in sound while keeping her aesthetic and artistic visions interesting
- star – 2hollis
- i mean.. it's not a disappointment? but it's definitely not the best thing to happen to electronic music the day it came out
- clube da esquina – milton nascimento & lô borges
- i wish i had a stronger reaction to this, like i did with construção; maybe it just needs more and more space over time for me to feel connected to it & thru it
- more chaos – ken carson
- if this was a little bit less bloated and he had a little bit more to say.. this would likely be incredible; xposed and blakk rockstar to dismantled are some of the best pure rage tracks—though the beat switches are certainly just a bit.. lazy sometimes
- bitches brew – miles davis
- one of the best ever album covers for one of the best ever albums
- los thuthanaka – los thuthanaka
- this might not be the greatest realized conception of an album i've heard yet, but it has completely changed my views on art and what it means to make it. i will always come back to it, it is transcendent in a way i cannot describe (yet).
- none so vile – cryptopsy
- i might just not get it? like the instrumentals are deranged, and i couldn't imagine not-extreme vocals being necessary to 'make it work', but.. i just can't listen to too much all at once—and maybe that's the best compliment, because it was such an intense experience
- in the aeroplane over the sea – neutral milk hotel
- similar to deathconsciousness for me of minor flatness at times, but at least i can hear it come through a lot more here; it feels more shockingly esoteric, and that kinda stuff hits for me; the title track is amazing melancholy
- sisterhood – lucy bedroque
- digicore with intense emotional bearing, without the ear fatigue; it might have a little bit too much of the same repeated sometimes, but the execution of it as a set of statements is fascinating, and i love it so much
also incredibly humbling that they were born in '06, insane.. :c
- poplife – umru & underscores
- so i don't think this is anything new but.. the two people helming it and the person behind the art direction are clearly carrying a torch in such a beautiful way~ and i love them all for it dearly
- street worms – viagra boys
- the wagoner – sematary & ghost mountain
- worst sample usage of all time on the last track
- this is just a dream (and soon i will awake) – d0llywood1
- i thought that i could take or leave all the sound effects, but they really make everything made around them stick just a bit longer. i like the dichotomy. it makes the life breathed thru it a bit more entrenched, a bit more maudlin.
that's all. i'll have something of substance back after my last day on the 8th—or maybe the 11th if that's the deadline for final grades..
ttyl <3
written 1 may 2025
