i envy it for its ability to navigate, to give itself and its leads the place they need; its inability to look past itself is its greatest strength. there's always more meaning to look for, but there's always something in the way, there's always some blockage or some inescapable part of living through heaven and hell that collapses in on itself, and all that's left is how closely you've come to appreciate the person you've been trailing. and if you have any doubts, it's no longer a transient exploration of a soul, but a tavern that you're just passing through. and that hurts.